Tony Nnadi

17 March 2025

I thought I knew the full meaning of Chaos until March 2025 arrived. 

First it was Natasha and Godswill assaulting our sensibilities in Abuja with matters that transpired in some hallowed bedchambers in an exotic abode in Uyo. Chaos Erupted, traveling with the blitz of petrol fire from Abuja to Lagos and New York. 

Then before we could catch our breath, the Supreme Court of Nigeria Overruled the Rickety Constitution of Nigeria and Reinstated 27 Lawmakers who by their own conscious acts, lost their seats in the Rivers State House of Assembly by operation of Law, igniting another front of Chaos in Port-Harcourt. 

As we were still struggling to put out the resultant fire in Port-Harcourt, the same Supreme Court affirmed a bizarre Death Sentence slammed by an Adamawa Court against Citizen Sunday Jackson for defending himself in his farm against the attack of an invading, murderous Fulani herdsman who had launched a deadly attack on Jackson in furtherance of the fundamental animal rights of his Fulani cow to graze on the crops of Citizen Jackson, prompting some White men who had been trying to rescue Jackson from judicial murder to weep and igniting another front of Chaos. 

Then from Lagos erupted another Chaos. A Serving Corps Member, Ushie Rita Uguamaye, had in utter exasperation for the astronomical rise in cost of living, declared that Tinubu was a Terrible President for plunging her economy into Chaos. 

An official of the NYSC who should have been alarmed that a Corps Member under her care was distressed enough to make such a declaration, got on the phone from Abuja and threatened Corper Rita with hell, expanding the Chaos to several more fronts as an army of sympathizers including this writer, descended into the arena in agreement with the Terrible President verdict and therefore in defense of Corper Rita, some volunteering to march with her to the NYSC Headquarters to see the demented woman who called her on the phone to threaten her.

Then came the worst from the seat of power in Abuja where an aide to the “Terrible President” declared that the Corps Member deserved Death Penalty for declaring the truth as she perceived it, namely, that her President was Terrible. 

The balance of the “Terrible Presidency” compounded the matter further when their response to the entire situation was to demand patriotism from all who currently wail in Nigeria over the cost of living crisis unleashed by the disastrous policies of the terrible government, thereby widening the Chaos to all households across Nigeria. 

It suddenly dawned on me that we must be trapped in George Orwell’s Animal Farm and so I began to search frantically for Mr Jones to come and rein in his many pigs in order to roll back the Multi-Front Chaos before it turns into the Ides of March.